Long Day, Late Post

Yesterday was a gong show. It was an organized gong show, or so I thought. Atlas’ six month shots were in the morning, along with his check up, and they went off without a hitch. He cried pitifully at the first needle, but the second he only sputtered and whimpered at. It only took a few minutes to calm him down afterward, and he was a champ for the rest of his doctor’s appointment. Which was fantastic, because I had overlooked the fact that he would likely be grumpy after his needle and had arranged his appointments so that the needle was first and the checkup second. Thankfully, he was very tough and recovered bravely so the check up was a breeze.

Of course, that afternoon proved to be a bit more of a challenge. One of his needles was the flu shot and it ended up throwing him for a loop. He got a slight fever and couldn’t fall asleep. I ended up napping with him for a couple of hours (the only way he would sleep), which of course upset my plans for the day.

That evening I had a hair appointment (this is my biggest news, hah!) and I guess poor hubby had a terrible time while I was away for a few hours. Brady finally managed to pry the top off of a stubborn bottle of formula and Atlas was more-or-less appeased by the time I got home. I did feel terrible, though. Especially since the poor guy was feeling so yucky. In the future I won’t be planning anything in the evening after baby’s flu shot. That is one lesson learned.

I never thought I would be one of those moms who found it so hard to be away from their baby, and for the most part I don’t. I don’t mind leaving him with people I trust, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. But when I get home, oh, that’s when I feel it! I ran in the door and scooped him up and didn’t want to put him down. It’s like I don’t realize how much I miss him until I’m holding him again and can’t stop kissing his adorable face and snuggling his wonderful pudginess. Ah, motherhood!

My hair, though, that is a point of contention for me. I am always wanting to do something different and interesting with my hair, but my poor husband is a stickler for tradition. Bangs, no. Colour, no. Length change, no.  But, for some reason I cannot fathom, he decided to change his mind about the second over the Christmas season. We came home and I, for the hundredth time, mentioned chopping off my hair; there is so much of it, and it’s so long that it takes an eon to do. While, yes, it is simple enough to throw in a pony-tail now that I’m living in yoga pants and showering twice a week, it’s by no means an attractive pony tail. I think with a little length off even a style as simple as a pony could be spruced up a bit. But no, the only point consigned was colour. And while he seemed inclined to encourage me toward blond, I decided to go with red. Red is still a statement, but it’s not so very far from my usual poo-brown as blond. Blond is too far, I think. Baby steps, people.

At any rate I’ve gone from plain poo-brown (as I not-so-affectionately label my natural colour) to a vivid red with a coppery ombre.

Now, I must state that I am not 100% sold on this colour. It came out a bit more purple than I was planning. I like the way that it transitions into the lighter colour at the tip, however. I do think that when I get my roots touched up I’d like to add some highlights or lowlights or something to break up the vividness of the red.

before

after

What do you think? Love it? Hate it?

Pattern Day: Simple slouchy baby beanie

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I love this hat, and I love the way it looks and feels and fits. It is a little large for Atlas right now (the ribbing, as you can see, isn’t very stretched) , but I’m okay with that because he is a growing boy and that means it will fit him for a few months.

I feel that the seed-stitch panel might be a little feminine, but not so much that Atlas can’t rock it 🙂 I might go with a stockinette stitch next time for a boy’s hat. You could also do a cluster of cables on one side.

Anyway, as promised here is the pattern;

Size 3 DPN needles

Size 6 DPN needles

 

(You could knit this on one large round needle, at it’s largest, but the hat is small enough- for a baby- that I found it manageable on DPNs)

Cast on 70 stitches in smaller needles

(Knit one, purl one) ** repeat around; continue ribbing in this way  for 1.5” from cast on edge.

Knit 7, knit 2 together (x 7) (63 sts)

Switch to bigger needles and knit every round until piece measures 5” from cast-on edge (for more slouch, add length)

If you want a panel with a different stitch (The hat pictured has a seed-stitch panel), knit the first 15 stitches of the round in seed stitch, or purl stitch.

Decrease at the end of the hat;

Knit 6, k2tog** repeat around (56)
Knit 1 round
Knit 5, k2tog** repeat around (49)
Knit 1 round
Knit 4, k2tog** repeat around (42)
Knit 1 round
Knit 3, k2tog** repeat around (35)
Knit 1 round
Knit 2, k2tog** repeat around (28)
Knit 1 round
Knit 1, k2tog** repeat around (21)
Knit 1 round
Knit2tog** repeat around (14)
Pull the rest of the yarn through the remaining 14 loops. Secure and weave end in.

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Nostalgic

First purchase for baby Smith! Adorable little knitted sleeper - I figure it could be for a boy OR girl :) #therealcanadiansuperstore #stealofadeal #babysmith #splurge
First purchase for baby Smith! Adorable little knitted sleeper – I figure it could be for a boy OR girl 🙂 #therealcanadiansuperstore #stealofadeal #babysmith #splurge

On March 3rd I posted an Instagram photo of the first item of clothing I ever bought our baby- who was, at that time, only about 15 weeks along in my tummy.

Well, he finally fits it!

I must say, it was a great purchase and he looks adorable in it.

IMG_8406 IMG_8403 IMG_8400 IMG_8388 IMG_8340Sleeper by Joe Fresh

Family Fridays: Surviving the Wait until Spring

So, it’s about this time every year that the drizzly grey sky and the cold temperatures and the snow start to get on my nerves. Anyone with me? Christmas is over. January- Christmas’ grace extended period (and my birthday!) is over. February, which is always cold, so we just have to deal with it, is on it’s way out. Isn’t it about time for some warmth around here? We got a teaser the other day; a sunny 1 degree! I was so excited, but the only problem is that in Saskatchewan, when the weather is unseasonably warm, we also get enough wind gusts up to ridiculously-fast KMPH.

At any rate. This week was reading week at the University so Brady has been home every single day. It has been awesome, to say the least. Brady even got up with Atlas one day this week. I was pretty stoked about that- well, actually I was pretty asleep about that. Hah.

Shopping Cart Cutie

This week Atlas turned six months. This is a pretty big milestone, I guess; half a year! He sat in a shopping cart baby-chair for the first time (see photo!) and ate rice cereal for the first time. It’s totally wild that he is really, actually growing up. Half of me is excited and the other half is yearning for the days when Atlas was so tiny I could tuck him into the crook of my arm and he would sleep through everything (including the night) and didn’t mind being left alone for 10 minutes while I did the dishes. *cough* Okay, but sitting in a shopping cart is pretty awesome; what Mama doesn’t love to show off her little champ while getting her groceries??

We’re still waiting to hear about Brady’s internship; where we are going or not going. We had expected news on Tuesday and it’s now Friday. Needless to say, Brady is a little on edge. So are our families.

Welp; it’s been a pretty tame week, and we’re looking forward to Spring, to more baby milestones, and to finding out where we’re going to be in the next couple of months.

Outfit of the Week: Cambray

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This week Atlas finally fit into his adorable little camo pants. I was pretty stoked because I’ve been looking forward to getting those suckers on him! I also finished the first of what I’m sure will be many accessories for him; a sweet, little baby slouchy hat!

Camo + Chambray = Cambray!

We started with a  Graphic Bodysuit I really liked the colour of the red against the earth-tones of the camo, so I went with it! We got these pants from a second-hand kid’s store, and they’re George brand (Walmart) but here is a Similar Pair from The Children’s Place.  The chambray shirt is from Joe Fresh (Can I just comment on how much I love Joe Fresh fashion?? For baby AND for me.) but it was on sale, and isn’t on their site, so here is a Similar One from H&M.

The hat, obviously, is hand-made. I will post the pattern on Monday!

Skin

I feel like my life is wasting away. Not literally, I mean, I am a picture of health and youth. Well, maybe not a perfect picture- but you get the point. I can’t shake this feeling lately like I’m not doing anything worthy with my life, like I’m wasting it. Wasted potential; that’s what I feel like.

The only thing I have to my name is a fantastic husband and a beautiful baby. The first was 50% his choice, too, and the second is 99% genetics. So that leaves me; doing nothing with my life. No career path to speak of; heck I don’t even know what I want to be when I grow up (if I grow up) and I’m 26.

I have had a lot of aspirations in my life; I wanted to be a veterinarian, an artist, a blogger, an author, a graphic designer, a web designer, a dog breeder. Thus far none of them have panned out. At twenty six and starting our family, I can’t see myself going back to school any time in the near future. I feel like I’ve pigeon holed myself into a corner; I was getting old to be starting a family, but I was also getting old to be starting a career. I chose family, because honestly I think on my death bed I’m going to be more concerned about my family than my employment. But reality is that I still have to live the years between here and there and feel like I’m contributing something to society.

The problem is that I have no idea where to start. Being a vet was really a childhood pipe dream, I really don’t have the GPA for that. Artists need talent, pure talent, I have a small bit of ability to doodle. Usually on my homework (see aforementioned comment about GPA or lack thereof.) Blogging seems like this really elite club of luckily successful people who found a niche on the internet and were rewarded for their humour, creativity and intelligence. I feel like I don’t have any of those three things, let alone a combination of them. I would love, repeat love, to write a book. My husband wants me to. He really encourages me (something to note; my hubby is a HUGE fan and supporter of mine, he just thinks I lack direction and commitment- which is really true- don’t tell him I said that.) I’ve been writing short stories and even small novels since I was a child, honestly I think I started in third grade. I just have no idea where to start- what genre to write, what type of book to write. And let’s be honest here; who is going to read what I have to write? Ugh. It’s pointless. Graphic and web design is so much like being an artist, PLUS the field is flooded with a million people who could do it better than me; so again, what’s the point? Now, breeding dogs I could do- I know enough to get started and I understand enough to make connections to help me the rest of the way. But it costs money and it’s not a very profitable career, if at all. It’s more of an expensive hobby. Like yacht buying, or summering in Paris. Well, maybe not that snooty, but you get the point.

All that to say; I’m stuck! I’m in a rut! I don’t know where to go or what to do. Right now I’m waiting for my husband to be finished University so he can get a real computer programming job, and we can have a real house. After that, what? By that point I’ll be 28 and likely working on or already have a second child (which I’m totally thrilled about- it just doesn’t lend itself to the whole career-path thing.) I feel like the things I wanted most in life are crashing together and not at all in an appealing way. Clashing more than crashing, really. 

WOW. I am really whiney. I have a fantastic husband and a wonderful son. I have a roof over my head and an income. I live in Canada for pete’s sake (go Canada!) and I have extended family who love me (albeit live 3,000+ KM away.) I have a great, if not charmed, life. Why is it that I can’t be satisfied? Why is it I can’t batten down and put my mind to one thing and do it? All my aspirations are flapping around in the wind and I’m the lazy cat glaring at them instead of getting off my lazy duff and chasing one of them down.

So what if it’s the wrong one? At least I’ll have done something; accomplished something.

Did I just pep-talk myself into getting a move on on a subject? Possibly. Let you know real soon.

Oh, Hello Again.

ImageSo. A few months have gone by. Okay, eight months. That’s a lot of months. Oops. Pregnancy treated me okay until two weeks prior to our due date, and – BAM- the baby decided to show up! Labor was intense. The pain was essentially what I had anticipated, however, I did NOT anticipate the lack of breathing room between contractions. Everything – television, movies, the Doctor (for pete’s sake) parenting class- Everything said that I should be able to time my contractions, and that that was how you can tell if and when you are progressing. Well. Let me tell you; there was no space between contractions. I didn’t even realize that one contraction was letting up until all of the sudden it was a million times worse, so I just assume it was the next contraction. They rode one another for 24 hours until he finally decided to show up. There. Was. No. Space. Between. Them.

Essentially, about 12 hours into labor, I started feeling like I was having seizures- my whole entire body was locking up, my muscles wouldn’t relax and I was shaking uncontrollably. I caved and got the epidural; I hadn’t wanted to, and I sometimes wish I hadn’t, but at the time, it was realistically the best option. I was slowing down labor because I couldn’t relax, I was fighting the relentless contractions and stopped progressing (and after a speedy 3 cm in 2 hours, slowing down was awful!)

He did show up eventually, though, with the help of a vacuum and approximately two thousand doctors, nurses and interns in the room with us. That was fun. But seriously I was so thankful for all the healthcare professionals- I felt so well taken care of. They got my baby out and kept us both healthy and safe. It didn’t go how I planned and envisioned, but we were both safe and sound, and that’s what counts.

He was 6lb, 11.5oz and 21″ long. Born at 8:12am on August 20th. Thirteen days early. We named him Atlas Dwight (middle name after Brady’s dad)

He is my world, he is so beautiful and funny and stubborn and amusing and strong-willed. He is gorgeous even when he’s sticky and dirty and smelly and tired and cranky; he is a miracle and I love him. He is my heart outside my body, as I’ve heard it explained. I have thought on ocassion, “What if we had had a girl?” Then I look at my boy and think, “No. That couldn’t have happened- he had to be him, he is perfect, he is perfectly who we were meant to have.”