Anticipation!

We are three quarters of the way there! To where, you ask? To baby boy being born, of course!!  He has gotten so strong; kicking and flipping and rolling around in there. I can feel him as a hard spot when he is pressed up against my side now. It’s really weird- like he’s so much more real in the last few weeks. Hiccups, too, lots of hiccups!! It’s so bizarre to think there is a 3lb, 15″ baby inside of my abdomen. If I contemplate it for too long it does, admittedly, freak me out a bit. But that’s okay. Despite the fact that there’s an alien being in my guts, I am still utterly Week 30excited and amazed by the miracle that he is. Also, so terribly and fantastically excited to meet him.

Ten more weeks.

Next Friday is our routine prenatal appointment. They have been every 4-5 weeks up until this appointment, then after this one they will be every 2 weeks. Every 2 weeks! That, I feel, is going to make time fly by in bigger chunks. Right now I survive weekly, looking forward to our bump photos being taken every Tuesday, but a doctor’s appointment every other Friday is going to be a great way to measure the leaps and bounds in time.

I am starting to get a little bit stressed about being unprepared. Brady is great at calming me down, but his pep-talks only seem to ease my distress for a short period of time. Then the concern starts to creep back in. How are we going to make this tiny one bedroom apartment work for us? I am going to go stir-crazy in here come September! How is he going to be able to get any homework done with the baby in the apartment? Am I supposed to lock us up in the bedroom as soon as Brady is home so he can work on his projects at the desk un-hindered?

The frustration of not having a ‘real’ nursery is also wearing on me. I know, I know; I made sacrifices like ‘not having a nursery’ so we could start our family earlier than 2045. That, however, isn’t making me feel a whole lot better about the situation. I have been knitting our kid some pretty awesome stuffed animals and sweaters and booties, but I feel like that’s not really making up for his lack of personal space. And while I realize that a newborn baby, and heck, a 9 month old baby, isn’t going to care that he doesn’t have a pintrest-pimped out nursery, his mommy does!! I have dreamed of that nursery and all of the love and care and hard work that would go into it for so long. Now it’s just not a reality and it’s kind of crushing. Sad. But I can revel in the joy of my baby boy, feeling him roll around and kick at my ribs, bladder and belly button with ferocity. I can laugh as he kicks and topples the bowl I try to balance on his bump. I can pray for his health and safety in the following ten weeks.

Fear of labor and delivery hasn’t really sunk in just yet, but stay tuned! I’m sure it will be showing up soon enough.

ps- should also mention that these vegetables that these baby websites compare your growing baby to are silly. How is my baby the size of a cucumber? He is definitely wider than that- so is he just as long as a cucumber? Why doesn’t it say ‘your baby is as long as a cucumber’ not ‘the size of’… Oh well! I’m kind of relying on them at this point!